so i have a few cancer books that i went out and bought immediately after getting out of the hospital.
1) crazy sexy cancer (2 different books with the same name)
2) planet cancer
3) everything changes
they are books that deal with my age group. they use humor to the extreme which is why i love them!
the planet cancer book has lots of top ten lists and i thought i would share one of them in each post. since i start chemo this week, i thought the one on chemo brain would be appropriate
TOP 10 WAYS TO DEAL WITH CHEMO BRAIN (TRUE TERM)
10) swear to everyone that you were a blond before you lost your hair (in my case - patches - but still counts!)
9) tell people that your brain "temporarily shuts down during chemo to prevent excessive loss of brain cells"
8) spend the next twenty minutes trying to actually remember and articulate #9
7) when your brain gives out and you stumble over a sentence, look the person directly in the eye and say, "did you catch all that"
6) wait, what was a i talking about? (ONE OF MY PERSONAL FAVORITES)
5) look at your oncologist and say "whoa! you're treating me for what????"
4) proudly announce, "at least it doesnt affect my ability to drive"! (IGNORE THE FACT THAT I HAVE NO PERIPHERAL VISION ON THE RIGHT SIDE)
3) tell everyone it gives you a chance to live in a man's shoes for a change
2) wait, what was i talking about?
1) when all else fails, pretend you are having flashbacks from 'nam. even if you weren't born yet
so chemo brain is so real that the mayo clinic has come up with a list for dealing with chemo brain:
- decrease workload - DONE
- avoid multiple tasks - CANT SEEM TO GET THIS ONE DOWN
- prepare today for tomorrow - TRY
- make lists - I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE A JOKE, BUT I FORGET TO WRITE THINGS ON THE LIST
- sleep more - DONE
- use mnemonics and wordplay - REMINDS ME OF STUDYING FOR THE BAR - NOT GOING TO HAPPEN
- use calendars to record appointments - SEE MAKE LISTS
- color code and label items - I AM A J - AND I STILL WONT DO THAT
- track memory problems in small diaries - SEE MAKE LISTS AND USE CALENDARS
- do crossword puzzles and sudoku - WORDS WITH FRIENDS ROCK
I love that! it sounds so far-fetched-but it it so freakin true. very good way of explaining it to someone who hasnt gone through it.
BRAIN WALK
so apparently we are raising money! its so fun! the one in los angeles is, i think, in septemeber. so since most of you are living in los angeles, i expect your butts to participate. last year it was right on the beach so even if you hate walking, at least you can see a pretty view!
MRI TIME
so i get MRI every two months. it sounds like a lot but to be honest, i would get them every month if i could. seems like, what can grow in a month! so it seems like they would always be good. unfortunately that doesnt always work
this is the last MRI that i have before my one-year cancerversary (i just made that up!) it is scary because the stats are so bad that the one year mark is a big mark to survive to. yay me!
i think that i get lulled into a false sense that everything is always going to be fine. i had some news that just punches me in the stomach and gets rid of that sense of everything goin to b OK. there was a guy that a friend knows who got diagnosed with the same cancer in the same month i did. he is my age and pretty much the only difference is that his tumor was bigger and in a different area in the brain. he found out at his last MRI that the tumor came back and he had surgery last week. so there is no security. they say age is a big factor - but he is my age. i guess i cant compare myself to him since we are all different. but of course that is impossible to actually do.
the MRI has to be good because i leave for italy next week and that would suck ass to get bad news before.
UPDATE ON THE BUS THING BELOW
Angela told me that the comedian Robert Schimmel had cancer and died in a car crash. so - car crash is OK to say, but still no bus. no bus.
