bubble burst

so this is a kind of sad post.  not sure how to make this an upbeat and funny.
there was a man who was diagnosed with the same cancer i have.  he was diagnosed after me (in september).  had the initial surgery that i did.  he goes to the same doctors i go to, for the most part.  the doctors never said they got the entire tumor, which they told me, although they cant say for certain.  he had a really bad time with chemo, the same one i am on.  it didnt work for him.  they put him on another chemo and it made him sick in bed for an entire month.  the tumor grew back within a few months.  he had a second surgery.  he was diagnosed in september of 2010 and he died a few days ago.  12 months almost to the date. 

obviously from what i said above, my situation is different for the most part.  however, what is not different is that we have the same cancer.  i live in this bubble that everything is ok and i think the people around me do it which is the right way to be.  the chemo is working for me, the tumor is for the most part gone and i have barely any side effects.  but the truth is that its really not "if" the cancer comes back, its "when".  at least that is what the doctors have said, although they do say they have never seen a smaller tumor and that they did get all of it that they can see.  this should be a huge comfort to me.  i am trying really hard to focus on those differences, but it is IMPOSSIBLE to not see myself in him. 

i guess the point of this is that cancer sucks and while i am positive and doing all that i can (at least i think) you never know.  i still want to live in my bubble, but sometimes it gets holes and pessimism seeps in .  i am lucky that my bubble is mostly made of designer bubble material (nothing but the best :) and of course its pink)

and yes angela - i am going to do the brain cancer nutritionist chick.  thanks for the nagging :) what are you - jewish! heeeheee